My daughter Sol is obsessed with the Disney show, “Jesse” and in this video she reenacts her favorite scene by her favorite character, “Zuri”. (Side note: The character “Zuri” is adopted and so is my baby Sol!”)
“I’m good at eating cookies and kicking butts and we are all out of cookies!”IMG_5563.MOV
Dear Mr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Aspiring comic here! If I ever got the opportunity to co-host your show, StarTalk, I wanted to let you know that my scientific areas of expertise are in Black Holes and White Dwarves!
PS: I live in Riverdale, BX, right around the corner from your old spot!
The main reason I am not voting for Donald Trump is because he looks like he single-handedly colonized the horn of Africa… like a cross between Cecil John Rhodes and an SS Officer! In fact, The Donald knew the mother of Cecil the Lion… And now that bitch is hanging on his wall!
#DonaldTrump #TheDonald #Trump #CecilTheLion #CecilJohnRhodes #NaziGermany #Africa #Colonization #Racism #Evil #JOTD #kyplatt #BrownBabyCarrot
We in dis bitch finning to get crunk eyebrows on fleek da fuck!
Sometimes I think I’d like to be possessed by the spirit of Lenny Bruce but then I’m like, “Oh fuck no! I don’t want some old Jewish dude inside of me!”
Yet another joke co-written and workshopped by my brother Kevin! I did NOT accept his edited version (see below) but I’m happy to announce that it is OFFICIAL! Kevin and I are fully committed writing partners!! And, if this shit get’s lucrative, Kevin has promised to pay me back all the bail money I loaned him!!
Kevin’s edit: Sometimes I think I’d like to be possessed by the spirit of Lenny Bruce: “that may be the only Jewish man I’d let inside me.”
#JOTD #brownbabycarrot #brothertransbrotherwritingduo #letsgetit #dothedamnthing
The following joke was co-written and workshopped by my brother Kevin.
“People always say that being biracial is the best of both worlds but I think that’s complete bullshit! I’m half black/half white and transgender. Not only do I have a small dick, I can’t even get a fucking credit card!”
This JOTD is for all of my redneck friends out there. I tweeted this to Jeff Foxworthy. The first one’s free, Jeff!!
When you roll up to the sex party like, “Yo! This bandage on my forehead is for safe sex.” #facesitting #brownbabycarrot #protectivebarrier
#kyplatt #brownbabycarrot #kimdavisprisonbitch
This one goes out to Lupita Nyong’o.
“I love dark skin black women so much, I once fucked my own shadow!”
#JOTD #theblackertheberry #lupita #brownbabycarrot #kyplatt #nightrider